a slow august update 🌞🌾🌾🌾

Dear Adventurers,

August is upon us already! 🌞🌾🌾🌾

tl;dr– I am disappointed with the month, but highs come with lows. July was more difficult health wise, and I got less done than I would have liked. Thankfully no new problems, just more of the same.

You must want to know; when is the cookbook going to be here? And I want to know that too. I'm trying to get this done and out by the holidays now, but my daily abilities are so abysmal. Gone are the days and months when I could hyper-focus into this, even as I want to. Money is a larger problem now, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Writing, in my experience, is all about consistency. So is editing, formatting, even taste-testing, designing the files for the book cover, and the slow grind of building up a cookbook. It's about hard work put in over time, every day, diligent. That's the same advice I've given to other hopeful authors and writers; it's advice I've heard in every "On Writing" book I've ever read. It's advice that used to work for me.

I'm learning that Disability, on the other hand, is anything but consistent. Every day is different. Every day I have to find a new way to get my eyes and fingers to work together to finalize the book so I can just get it off to the printers. Something that worked yesterday doesn't today. The endless charts, to-do lists of to-do lists, task managers and deadlines that worked for me for YEARS during the 1st cookbook-- just aren't working now. I have to face each day as it comes, and figure out what I am capable of on the fly. And often all I am capable of is making it to the next day.

Of course in the midst of this, I also must live, exercise, attend my appointments, eat, clean, make rent, and hopefully find those little joys along the way. My cats, my partner, my friends and family; they help. so much.

A personal success this month-- our things from the US finally arrived. I've been living out of a suitcase for the last 8 months; sleeping on a futon, and I cannot tell you the sublime joy of being reunited with my bed. my sheets. my full wardrobe of comfy clothes (and costumes, lmao). Craft supplies, physical therapy equipment, the rest of my kitchen stuff! Our shipment had been severely delayed over the ocean and at port; but I am now surrounded by my own things, and it is so comforting. our books are with us again! Our home felt so strange not lined in books. Given my sense of relief that everything is now here, I think this will help tremendously with my baseline.

Still, I am Sisyphus. And one must imagine Sisyphus happy. This is a task I've undertaken for myself, and I want it to live up to the standard of the first book. I want it to inspire you, to feed you, and to get you through the next few years. I really appreciate your patience while I figure this out. I've found out the hard way what happens when I just "push through" now; a day of 'too much' equals a week of dreaded 'zero days'.

It's been record-breaking hot here in England. I heard that London just had its first month without rain in a hundred fifty years. The grass isn't just dead-- the soil an inch down is also dead. Rain is a mirage on the forecast, disappearing before we can even get to it. Given I'm unable to regulate my temperature, this heat has increased my difficulty level; but it's still below the Denver daily averages, so I suppose I am still better off!

I'm writing this post with another headache, having woke up with numb hands and severe POTS. Already had a nap, and struggling to string words together in a way that makes sense when I re-read each sentence. yet I persevere! I hope you can find a way to persevere too. I can at least be consistent in trying, and in climbing back on the wagon.

Some good news? Please look forward to the new and expanded Congee chapter; born from the TotK veggie rice porridge recipe, these tasty and savory bowls are warm, nourishing, and easy to digest-- and deliciously customizable with toppings. Never had congee before? Humans have been stewing it up for thousands of years; since our first cultivations of rice! maybe your tastebuds will remember...

That's all I have in me right now. Hoping I can give you more in the next update, hoping you are all holding on okay, hoping this will all get easier somehow.

with love and light,
aimee

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ps– I don't even have a ps! except for your cat. please tell them I said ps ps ps. <3 and really, thank you again for hanging in there with me. I know this project is taking so long. I am so sorry, and so thankful you're still here reading.